05.28.2012 -- A friend called today to see how we were doing. I am doing well. I still miss my son so much that my heart just breaks. He was smart, he had so much potential. He could have done great things. Secretly, I have missed him for a while. He was gone long before his body died. On the thursday before he died he came to my house. He and his wife had a court order to stay away from the baby. He was in a rage. Going through his room looking for something. He was grabbing things that was not his. Lifting the tiles of the ceiling panels looking for the unknown. I told him that he needed to go. He shouldn't be here. He dared me to call the law. I was terrified. He wanted to see the baby, he woke her and she started crying. Go now. I grabbed her and took her into my room locking two doors behind me. They left. I told my husband that I could no longer be a part of this. I was done. I cried. I would not talk to him on the phone.  I could no longer deal with this in any manner. Out of the backseat the tiny voice of my infant grand-daughter "I'm good".